The Triggers of my Son’s Development
As I have watched my son progress through different ages and stages, I have become aware of how often it may trigger a noncoherent memory or stress that I am holding onto from when I was the same age. Some of the areas I need to heal are easy to see and others are a little more tricky to identify and held at a deeper more subtle unconscious level.
The constant theme is that as we shift into the world of parenthood there is a tremendous opportunity available to us to identify past unmet childhood needs and traumas. Our children and the related behavioral, family, generational and societal dynamics they trigger within us, can be our clues and roadmaps leading us to our own unconscious blockages that are still limiting us in the present. If we recognize these blockages and use them to connect with what we need for deeper healing, then we have the opportunity to create profound changes within ourselves and our families.
While I cannot change other people in my family, I have found that the more I continue to work on myself and meet and energetically resolve my unmet childhood needs the more my relationships with the members in my family change. I find that I have a greater ability to accept the situation and my family members for who they are and where they are on their journeys. In addition, I stop looking to have unmet childhood needs be fulfilled by my parents, siblings, and others. While some of my relationships have become closer, others more distant and some no change at all…the constant change that I experience personally is that I am not as triggered and deenergized by my interactions with them. This is the only piece that I can control.
I have always said that I wanted to fully experience motherhood. When my son was born that is exactly what I did, I jumped right in with both feet. I went from full time working professional to full time mom. I am going to tell it to you straight. I love my son more than anything, and I found the transition into this new role and world incredibly challenging.
It was not just the transition into motherhood, I was also dealing with loss regarding my decision to leave my professional life and generational and societal confusion regarding what if means to be a “good mother.” My world became completely unbalanced as the sole focus of existence became taking care of my son’s needs.
Resonance Repatterning sessions have been my primary tool to clear out blockages that endlessly bubble to the surface as I navigate the world of parenthood. Specifically, parenthood has provided me the following growth recognition opportunities:
Motherhood and Related Generational and Societal Influences
I knew I had made the right decision for me, yet energetically there was so much conflict and stress. Overnight I went from a role of having people reporting to me and taking care of my needs, to me being the one taking care of everyone else’s needs. I felt I had lost my professional identity and financial independence. Older women were telling me I had my priorities right and yet at the same time I felt somehow as if I was betraying the women’s movement and letting down the people in my professional department. The sessions I have done on myself have helped me clear out the “noise” from generational and societal influences and create a more balanced support system in our home that is energizing for both me and my family.
My son and I spend so much time together. He has picked a lot of things up from me, some of it coherent and some of it noncoherent. Many times I have found myself staring at him wondering where on earth he picked up a particular habit or behavior. Then it happens, the realization hits me that he is mimicking me. It can be comical at times, and also a wake-up call of what I need to change in myself. Once I recognize that it is happening, I focus on going inside to energetically shift what I need to change. In many cases, once I release what is going on inside of me, I often notice a change both in myself and my son.
My Unmet Childhood Needs Exploding to the Surface
A new baby, yes, I can still remember the excitement of it all. It can be energizing at the beginning and represent a fresh start with families. However, I was not prepared for all of my own childhood issues that surfaced as I transitioned into motherhood. It was not only the issues themselves that surprised me, but the depth and intensity with which they manifested. Through my filter, now not only was I being “wronged” somehow, but now that same thing was happening to my son. My momma bear energy surged through my body determined to protect him from experiencing the same hurts and traumas that I had. All my painful filters of how I was treated in relation to siblings or other family related issues just became magnified.
So much for new beginnings. In my experience becoming a parent is like kicking the hornet’s nest….all my unmet childhood needs and unhealthy filters came swarming to the surface. It is here that I have a tremendous opportunity to either repeat the unhealthy pattern or to connect with a new healthier possibility of being.