Inner Healing within Relationship

In addition, our relationship became the center stage for all of our unmet needs from childhood, past relationships and other life traumas.  We unconsciously looked to one another to fulfill these needs and we were completely unaware that it was even happening.  Communication at times was challenging and felt more like fighting a battle and having to be right rather than truly listening to and hearing one another.  Noncoherent reactions and behaviors began to manifest and influence our relationship interactions.  I had lost my connection to my own inner light and as a result I was no longer able to see his and the source of our initial connection.

Reconnecting to my Center with Increased Sensitivity and Awareness of Healing Opportunities

Once again I took to writing and and dived deeply into qigong studies to reconnect within myself, only this time I was being challenged to grow in a different way.

Our relationship had awoken many unresolved dormant issues I was unaware I held inside myself.  All of these issues and my husband’s came swirling to the surface creating a commingled sea of confusion. I had to develop a deeper and more increased kinesthetic awareness of me in order to sort through what was my stuff and what was my husband’s being projected toward me that was not mine to carry.   While this was confusing at the beginning this experience challenged my sensitivities to grow in a deeper and more subtle way.

Reconnecting to my center within my relationship with my husband created a new filter for me to identify areas of growth within myself. As my sensitivities increased with my qigong practices I became aware of how my body was reacting to conversations or actions and where I was holding these blockages in my system.  Every tension, holding of breath, negative emotion, sensation of wanting to cut myself off….all of these became gifts for healing.  As I worked through what surfaced either through qigong work or Resonance Repatterning I became more and more fascinated by how many of my stressful reactions were linked to unmet childhood needs or other traumas I was holding onto.  Once these blockages were energetically resolved within myself, I was no longer getting triggered by the same patterns when interacting with my husband.

This is a never ending process for both of us and our ability to recognize what we hold in our body instead of reacting and projecting our pain onto the other person has created an environment where we have both connected to tremendous growth and healing.  

I believe that our intimate relationships have the potential to trigger dynamic healing within ourselves if we allow ourselves to be truly present to and energetically resolve the lessons trigged by those closest to us.

The connection I felt upon meeting my husband has a timeless depth to it. We met at a sunset and I remember being drawn to his presence hundreds of feet away.   I truly believe my sense of love from within myself and my connection to my own inner light created the space for us to meet and connect in a very deep and authentic way.

And yet with all the work I had done, I still allowed myself to become “lost in love.”  I let my deep connection to my internal world slide and I spent my time externally out in the world with my new relationship.  In the beginning I didn’t notice much, there were too many external fun distractions. However, as the years passed I became aware of the seed of resentment I directed toward my husband and the related anger toward myself for so easily discarding a part of my life that connected me toward my internal world.